Fix You
by Kick Caskett
Summary: AU: Six months ago Kate continued to hunt for the dragon. That was the last Castle saw of her until now. Kate's left broken after the dragon takes away everything. Castle might be the only one who can fix her. But is it too late?
1. Chapter 1

**~ For Sarah and Yochabel. Always ~**

**This is a repost of my old story that I posted a couple of months ago. This is AU but it's set after 'Always' but ignores them finally getting together and the events of Season 5. **

**Disclaimer: I would if I could but I can't so I shant. **

**Fix You – Chapter One**

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse  
_

All she wanted since that fateful day, 14 years ago, was justice. She never thought finally facing her mother's killer would come at such a cost. Her whole live was about getting justice for those who were innocently killed. That dedication drove her to become the best cop she could be. But all that hard work just seemed to disappear as soon as that shot was fired. What was she supposed to do now?

_And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?  
_

She called him out of the blue, late that stormy night. Her voice was shaking through the few words she managed to form during their brief phone call. He was surprised to hear from her. After all it had been months. She told him they needed to talk. She said she needed him, and only him. She wanted to meet at the swing set. _Their _swing set. He could tell she was broken, and knew that maybe she realised how much they meant to each other. Or how much they used to…

He grabbed his coat from the closet and rushed out the door, not taking a moment's pause. It had been 6 months since he last graced the soft features of her face. After he professed his love and she turned him down he honestly thought that they would never be together. Ever. He hadn't spoken to her in months and in all honesty he thought she continued on her mother's case and ended up dead. As cold hearted as it sounded, he assumed that she made the choice to find her mother's killer at any cost.

But there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't cross his mind. Whether he was drinking his cup of coffee in the morning or walking by a police car. She was constantly on his mind. He promised months ago always. That they would be there for each other always. As in without exception; on every occasion; every time. But he couldn't sit around and wait for her to die. And that's why he walked away.

He finally reached his destination. The park. He trudged through the mud as he made his way over to the small swing set. He could see a figure slowly rocking on the swing. He knew it was her. Her face was buried in her hands, as if she was crying. Castle walked up behind her and placed his hand reassuring on her shoulder. She jumped at his touch. She turned around and saw his solemn face. She broke down into tears again. Castle just grabbed her hand and led her off the swing, taking her undercover and away from the rain that wouldn't ease.

He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her cold, dripping wet body. She encompassed it around her as she welcomed the warmth. He noticed that she was fiddling with something in her hand. It was her father's watch.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
_

Her eyes wouldn't meet his. She was staring blankly at the ground.

"Kate" he barely whispered. He gently touched her chin, nudging it upwards.

Her eyes said it all. Kate was no longer wounded. She was broken. It didn't take Castle very long to figure that out.

"He was shot" she managed to form through her sobs. Her eyes adverted to the ground once again. She tried to even out her breathing and explain, but she just simply broke down again, almost collapsing to the ground. But Castle was there to catch her. Always. "He did it."

Castle's eyes widened. No further explanation was needed. Only one man could cause this sudden outburst of emotions. Her Father. Jim Beckett.

Castle extended his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder as a sign of comfort. He pulled her closer, and she buried her head into his chest, much to his surprise.

Kate had been through so much over the last couple of hours. She had nobody left now. Nobody but the man before her. She had pushed him so far away, she thought there was no way he would agree to meet her, let alone spend the time to listen to her. She remembers his declaration of love like it was yesterday. But she couldn't have the kind of relationship she wanted until this was all put to rest. But now it seems it will never be over and this may be her last chance.

"Castle…" her eyes pleaded with his. He saw the hurt, the pain but also the sorrow she was feeling right now. "I love you." The words were barley a whisper, but Kate had never said anything more meaningful in her life. Kate looked deeply into his eyes and thought that he also shared the same love.

She leaned in to kiss him, but he pulled back. But he didn't let go of her. He still held her close to his chest.

"Kate" he once again hushed. "I can't. I'm with someone." She released him immediately as she stepped back. Her eyes drifted off to the floor.

"I have to go." And with that, Kate began to run off into the rain. She dropped the coat not far after she set off running. She never even glanced back.

"Kate" he called out as he began to chase after her. "Kate…" But it was too late. She was out of sight.

_Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face  
And I…  
_

**Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**~ For Curly Cheese ~**

**A/N: Thanks for all the support for this story. I will update as often as I can but I have exams soon so I need to study XD Also a huge thank you to Thre3 for her help :) Enjoy this chapter and I hope I got the characters right :D**

* * *

**Fix You – Chapter 2**

* * *

_Six months later…_

Richard Castle, the man who has had his fair share of woman, would have never gone through this much trouble for a girl. But this was no ordinary lady. This was Katherine Beckett.

A couple of days after she disappeared once running into the rain, he went back to the twelfth precinct. However, this time he enrolled at the academy as an accredited profiler. This meant he had unlimited access to all NYPD resources and the Captain could not kick him out. He was officially a member of the team.

So far he managed to find out that she had resigned from the police force and went rogue in search for her mother's killer. The last anyone saw of her was six months ago. And that was when Castle saw her at the swings. The only thing she told him was that he, as in Jim Beckett, her father, was shot and the man that tore apart her family 14 and a half years ago was responsible. And there was also that declaration of love, but he decided to keep that quiet. That was just between the two of them.

She'd left her apartment and all its contents. Her rent wasn't paid for months so the place was being emptied. Castle was written as an emergency contact so he took all her belongings and stored them away. He went through all her belongings for any clue of where to start looking for her. But there was nothing much there. He did let a small smile grace his face once he found all copies of his books, most of them signed by him. Yet he could never picture the stunning face that must have been standing in front of him so many years ago, nervously asking for his signature.

He'd been through her financials with a fine tooth comb, but it appears hours after running away she emptied her bank accounts. But nothing since. He'd been tracking her sim for any phone calls, but once again, nothing. He found the phone and accompanying sim a few weeks ago and there was only record of the call she made to him six months ago.

Jim's funeral was four months ago and there was no sign of Kate. He stood there and gave the eulogy and was filled with tears at the mention of why Katie was not present. He had no explanation.

While Jim appeared to be murdered the case was going cold fast. The only people who knew the truth was Castle and Beckett. Castle couldn't make an accusation as he was still unclear of the exact circumstances. And besides he still didn't know who the dragon was.

Ryan and Esposito also worked on the case nearly ever free minute they had. But as suspected, it was just a bunch of dead ends.

All three men also worked on finding Beckett. Her safely was their number one concern. They just wanted to know that she was alright.

However a couple of hours ago, Castle caught a break. He was canvassing local bookshops for any sign of Kate. As egotistical is it sounds, his book was released yesterday and he knew that if she _was _still alive, she would check it out. A man in New Jersey remembers seeing a woman pay cash for his book before leaving very quickly. Security camera's picked up on the taxi she got into and hence found the location where she was staying.

It was a motel just outside the city. He figured his presence would not be all that welcome, but he needed to know she was alright.

He walked up the spiral stair case to room 317. He acquired the room number with ease after realising the receptionist was a fan. She was under the name of Nikki Heat.

He brushed his knuckles against the door. He listened intently to any sound that someone was in the room. He heard the sound of glass shattered so reached to pull the gun that was tucked into his pants. He had recently acquired a permit, one of the perks of being an accredited profiler who goes into the field. His finger coiled on the trigger and readied himself to fire.

He kicked down the door in one swift motion, another skill he had learnt in the last couple of months of police training.

Castle couldn't believe his eyes. There stood a blood-shot eyed Beckett that looked as if she had drunk at least several bottles in the last couple of hours. She was curled up on the floor with shattered glass surrounding her.

The initial shock wore of and Castle reached down to grab her hand and pulled her off the floor but she moved away and in the path of the shattered bottle.

"D-don't touch me Castle." Her voice was much louder than he expected. Her speech was nearly inaudible.

This was not the Kate he knew. The Kate he _loved_.

"Kate, what are you doing to yourself?"

"Castle leave me alone…go be with that slut."

"Kate" he said more forcefully this time. "Why ever happened to you? Don't you remember what your dad went through after your mother died?"

"Don't" slurred Kate as she unsuccessfully tried to pull herself up from the ground, "Talk about my mother. She's dead. He's dead. Nothing else matter."

"Kate" his voice was laced with so much anger and frustration. "Listen to yourself."

"Just…shut up Castle!" Her voice was full of anger. Full of raw emotion

"No! You are worth so much more than to be left to rot in some sleazy motel."

"Castle. You weren't there. You didn't have to look into his eyes as he pulled the trigger. You weren't there as the colour drained from his cheeks. He was crying out my name, yet I couldn't do anything about it."

"Kate, I know you are hurting at the moment. But this…" he gestured to the surroundings of the room. "…is not going to fix any of your problems. I know what you are going through…" Castle regretted the words immediately after they left his mouth.

"The hell you don't! You don't know what it feels like to have no-one love you!" she shouts in anger as she walks over to the table to grab another bottle. Before she can take another sip Castle takes the bottle away and pours the contents down the sink.

"What about Lanie? Even Epso and Ryan have spent months trying to find you Kate. These people care all love and care about you."

"What about you?" The word was barely whispered but Rick understood perfectly. He knew he needed to answer carefully for fear of driving her away. Again.

"We all do." He let out a shaky breath. "Listen Kate" he had had enough by this point. "You either come with me now and you can stay here and become another statistic."

The words hit home. As much as she didn't want to hear it, it was the truth. She was just waiting around for the other shoe to drop. For them to find her. The last person left connected to the case. For them to pull the trigger on her.

"What am I supposed to do now? He won. He took _everything_ from me. I might as well do what he has wanted all this time and just drop dead."

"Kate, are you seriously going to just give up like that. You see every day how families are torn about by death. Would you really want to put your friends through that? Do you really hate me that much now that you would do that to me?"

"Castle, you can't tell me what to do."

"Kate, how could you be so _gutless_ to not show up at your father's funeral. To not stand there with the others mourning the loss of a great, well respected man."

Kate turned her head, away from his eyes. He was right. She hated to admit it, but he was right. But she couldn't face it then. You couldn't face it now. Castle ran his fingers through his head in frustration. He might be the only person left in her life that can help. They can perhaps mend her broken life.

"Do you remember, Kate, when your father started drinking after your mother's death. You gave up your entire life to make him sober again. You saved his life. And now it's my turn to save yours."

Kate silently nodded her head. She knew better than anyone else that drinking was not the answer. But what was? She packed up her entire life and left in the hope she could just forget. Forget that nothing happened and that her dad was still alive somewhere. Still silently mourning his wife's death, but still managing to live each day.

"Kate, let me take you home with me. I'll help you get back on your feet. You can't keep living like this."

She surrenders the bottle in her hand forward before stumbling to her feet. She tried to take a few steps but her legs give way and she is seconds before landing on the floor when Castle catches her.

He gently caressed her forehead, before placing a sweet kiss on her temple.

"You'll get through this Kate."

* * *

**Thoughts? **


	3. Chapter 3

**~ For Larry CC's ~**

**A/N: OK…So some of you might not be big fans of this chapter…but I promise it gets interesting :) A big thank you to Sarah for her ideas that made this chapter what it is **

**Disclaimer: All I own is four seasons of Castle on DVD and all the Nikki Heat books. Castle is not mine :'(**

* * *

**Fix You – Chapter 3**

* * *

It took all but five minutes to pack up Kate's belongings from the motel. She had a few items of clothing, a single picture frame of her and her father as well as the copy of Castle's new book. But the clothes smelled of nothing but alcohol and the pages of his book were stained with a number of things, but most notably tears. The glass on the picture frame had been shattered to pieces. Castle thought it was best not to ask questions.

The drive back to the city was in complete silence. The only sound that was keeping them sane was the hum of the engine.

Begrudgingly, Kate was being ushered to Castle's loft by the man himself. He said it would only be for a few days until he found her a suitable place to live. She couldn't complain though. It was late and she had no apartment.

Kate simply just didn't want to speak. He was afraid of asking her anything for fear that she would run away once again.

He fumbled with his keys before finally opening the door and dropping the single bag by the door. Castle held the door opened for Beckett as she entered the familiar loft for the first time in just over a year.

Kate's demeanour went from slightly frustrated to really annoyed. There standing in the kitchen plating up food was a beautiful brunette. Her eyes were light brown and her smile could light up a room. She was dressed elegantly in a white, slim fitting dress with an apron that read "I Love Richard Castle." She seemed very domestic.

"Kate, this is Caitlyn." Rick directed his attention to the woman standing in the kitchen. She swung around at the mention of her name, tossing her curls around her shoulder, an act Kate knew was on purpose.

"Hi Kate. It's so nice to finally meet you. Rick has told me so much about you." Caitlyn was far too preppy for Kate's liking. But she wasn't but she expected. Castle usually went for the fake, blond haired bimbo's. But from Kate's first impression she was an intelligent and beautiful woman by all accounts.

Caitlyn turned the stove off and made her away over to where Kate was standing with her arms folded over her chest. She extended her hand for the ex-detective to shake. Kate didn't not move as first but Castle nudged her and she complied with the social convention.

Kate forced a smile. "It's nice to know that I'm a topic of conversation" she muttered under her breath, voice laced with sarcasm. Castle decided to let the comment slide knowing full well that Beckett was probably still drunk and was currently unaware of her surroundings. And besides it appears Caitlyn did not hear the sly comment.

Rick left Kate standing in the living room and moved to embrace his girlfriend with a quick kiss.

"Will you be joining us for dinner Kate?" questioned Caitlyn as began to set the table with cutlery just the two sets, another still in her hand.

"No."

"Yes."

"Castle, I can take care of myself" retorted Kate as she picked her small duffle bag off the floor.

"Kate, when was the last time had anything to eat?" he questioned. Though he could see how uncomfortable this entire situation was, he wasn't about to let Kate go. She still meant so much to him. After all, where was she going to go?

"Just leave me alone Castle!" She began to storm upstairs and into the guest bedroom. Slamming the door shut as she entered. The loud thud echoed throughout the loft.

"She seems…Nice" commented Caitlyn as she began to plate up dinner just for the two of them.

"I'm so sorry" apologised Castle as she embraced Caitlyn around the waist. "She's not like this. Not the Kate I know. She's just going through a lot of stuff at the moment."

"It's alright. You're partners. I guess I can be nice for a couple of days."

Caitlyn would deny is asked, but she was sort of jealous of Kate without knowing much about her. Rick has told so many stories of how Kate had saved his life nine times by his account and about all the cool cases they solved, no thanks to Rick. But he never mentioned why he followed her around for four years. But now she was starting to understand why.

"I'll start finding her an apartment after dinner. I promise she will be gone soon."

"Ok."

* * *

Kate was sitting up in the guest room, her head buried into the pillows. She had been crying for a couple hours now. Silently, not wanting to worry Castle.

The truth was she had missed him terribly the last couple of months. As much as she tried to get over him, there was that lingering feeling of love. The only reason she agreed to come back with him is that she knew maybe he still felt the same way.

But then, _she_ was here. And _she_ was certainly with Castle in his bed right now while she was up here crying. All alone.

She curled up the sleeve of her jumper and wiped the tears away from her eyes. It was no use no. The tears continued to stream down her face.

She took the photograph out of the frame that rested on top of her bag. She clutched it close to her chest. It was of her and her father just a few weeks before he died. They went out to their favourite diner to discuss the new developments on Johanna Beckett's case.

She lost it again. The memories of her father came flooding back. She couldn't take it for much longer. She threw the photo off the bed and onto the floor. Her hands began to run threw her hair in frustration.

She honestly didn't know what to do. For six months she drunk herself to sleep everything in the hope that it would all go away. She knew it wouldn't help but she couldn't face it. She couldn't face him.

Kate wasn't in the right mind to make any life decisions tonight.

She leaned over and turned the small radio on, finding the silence defeating. The last bars of the song began to play and she pulled the sheets over her head and attempted to find some much needed sleep.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you._

* * *

The light began to seep through the curtains of the bedroom as Kate began to stir from her sleep. She took in the unfamiliar surroundings. She didn't remember much of the last couple of days. The 17th century art on the wall, however reminded her that she was in Castle's loft.

Kate sat up far too quickly before remember that she was clearly hung over. She sunk back down into the bed letting out a frustrated groan. She placed the pillow over her head and buried her head into the sheets.

"Kate" whispered Castle as he opened the door to the bedroom which Kate occupied. "I brought you coffee and some aspirin."

Castle walked over to the small bedside table and placed the two small objects on the stand. He noticed the photo carelessly resting on the floor. He slowly picked up the crinkled piece of paper. He smoothed it out and placed it back on the night stand.

Kate made no effort to move. She just pretended to be asleep in the hope he would leave quickly. She still wasn't ready to face him while she was sober.

"I'll see you later." He quietly exited the room, shutting the door as he left. He knew perfectly well that she was awake but knew that only time could heal these things. Heal their broken relationship. And heal the whole in her heart that has been there since her father died.

She had made an ass out of herself and she really couldn't face him right now. She should at least clean herself up a bit. Maybe take a couple of aspirins to get rid of the throbbing pain in her head.

The guest room was complete with an en suite. Kate decided it was best to take a shower maybe tried and tame her unruly hair. The one thing she loved about Castle is that he was always prepared for someone to stay the night. Though, she was a bit surprised to find that he stocked up on cherry scented shampoo. Clearly that was just for her.

Kate exited the shower several minutes later and reached for the towel when an interesting thought occurred to her.

_Dammit! Where are my clothes?_

* * *

**Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Soooooooo sorry for the late update :) I hope this fixes some of the things that you lovely reviewers commented on.**

* * *

**Fix You – Chapter Four**

* * *

Kate walked out of the bathroom with the white, cotton towel wrapped around her chest. She descended the stairs and scanned the loft, taking notice of any other sound besides her own breath and the soft sound of water dripping on the timber floor.

"Castle" she called out as she walked into the living area. "Castle."

There was no answer from Castle, but Caitlyn appeared from within the study with a basket of clothes in her hands. She was a bit puzzled by the other brunette's appearance.

"Can I help you?" voiced Caitlyn. Her tone was uneasy. After all, another woman was practically walking around her boyfriend's apartment, _naked._

Kate couldn't help but feel a certain amount of animosity towards the woman. After all she was with the man _she_ was in love with. But she did understand why Castle was with her, begrudgingly. She left and he thought she was dead. Laying a an alley like her mother was nearly 15 years ago. He needed to move on with his life and she couldn't be angry at him for that.

But that didn't mean she liked that he moved on. She just couldn't wait to get out of Castle's loft. To say this situation was awkward was a massive understatement. I mean not even a year ago Castle professed his love to her and begged her not to look into her mother's case. She ignored him, and look where she was now. Once she finds some clothes she was heading out to look for another place to stay. And Castle was certainly not going to change her mind.

"Yeah…" carefully approached Kate feeling a bit self-conscious now. "I was wondering if you knew where I could find some fresh clothes?" Kate pointed to the clean towel, now dripping wet, wrapped around her.

"Umm…" questioned Caitlyn as she quickly scanned the loft to find a suitable piece of clothing. She would be polite. Kate must mean something to Rick, as a friend of course, if he would go through so much effort to help her. "Rick said he was going to the storage unit to collect some of your stuff. In the mean time you can borrow these." Caitlyn reached into the basket of freshly washed clothing and pulled out a t-shirts and shorts. She handed them to Kate before smiling politely. She could make the best out of a bad situation.

"Thanks."

Caitlyn only let out a small smile before returning to folding the washing not bothering to say anything else to the woman.

Kate took that as an invitation to leave. She was back upstairs with the door closed when Castle re-entered the apartment a few moments later.

"Hey Babe" smiled Castle as he placed the two cardboard boxes in his hands on the floor before heading towards his girlfriend to kiss her a good morning. He had slipped out of the apartment before she had awoke, leaving a note promising he would make pancakes when he returned.

Castle was a bit confused when she pulled back breaking his embrace.

"Don't _hey _me." He was getting a bit better at reading woman but sometimes he was just left dumbfounded. They changed moods in a matter of seconds.

"You're little friend up there, just decided to walk around the loft practically naked."

Castle's eyes widened and it was taking every ounce of strength he had to stop the smile forming on his face. _Damn why had he left the apartment._

When Caitlyn's expression remained firm and downright scary Rick realised he may want to fix this situation, and fast.

"I'm…sorry."

Caitlyn didn't like being the jealous girlfriend but it was hard knowing that Rick had a past. A past thought that she accepted but he was a womaniser and that thought couldn't be shaken.

"Rick, I know she is important to you. She saved your life, several times. But it's just she seems to keep taking you away from me. And it's as if she expects you to always be there."

Castle couldn't help but let out a small smile at Caitlyn's use of the word _always_. It after all was Castle and Beckett's word. A constant promise that they would always be there for each other.

Caitlyn folded her arms over her chest in anger at his smile. _Did he really think this entire situation was funny?_

"Look, Caitlyn. Me and Kate we used to be really close. We were always there for each other. She would come and get a beer with me after a bad break-up with a girlfriend. She even spent her valentine's day with me even though she had a boyfriend because I just found out an old friend was a murder."

Caitlyn still stood there, eyes widened and not a single bit of amusement lacing her face. _Get to the point Castle._

"What I mean is that she was always there for me when I needed her and now its my turn to be there for her. I was the one who made her open her mother's case and I sort of feel responsible for the way it all turned out. I need to finally get the ending right for a story that I have been waiting 6 years to write."

Castle was a writer after all and had a way with words. Caitlyn melted into one of Castle's bear hugs. They would always make all her worries disappear

"I need to take this up to Kate" he gestured to the much larger box.

"What about the other box?" questioned Caitlyn as she gestured to the much smaller cardboard box lying on the timber floor.

"It's got some of Kate's stuff that I thought could be fixed before she sees them again."

"Ok, well I'm going to finish these and then go back to my place. Come over for dinner?" she questioned.

"What about the pancakes?"

"Tomorrow." Caitlyn leaned over and kissed Castle's check before grabbing her handbag off the couch and leaving the loft.

* * *

Castle knocked on the door to the guest room to which Kate swiftly opened. In his hands was the box which he was struggling to fit through the door frame. He walked past Kate and placed the box on the bed which was readily made.

Kate didn't speak a word. But it was one of the things that they could just sense about each other.

"This is a few things from your apartment. After you didn't pay rent for several months we cleared it out. Most of the stuff is still in the storage unit I got but I thought you could use some fresh clothes among other things."

"Thanks." Kate began to sift through the box pulling out a matching top and shorts as well as a handbag.

"I was going to head to the precinct today" abruptly spoke Castle.

"Wait, why are you doing at the precinct if I'm not around?" Kate dropped the clothes on the edge of the bed and pushed herself up onto the mattress.

"I work closely with Ryan and Esposito as a profiler. Spent a couple of months at the academy to get my badge and gun."

Kate actually let out a small laugh, something she surely hadn't done for over six months. It actually felt good. He just could bring that side of her out.

"Really Castle. You with a gun. How many people have you injured so far?"

Castle felt a bit proud of himself. He was probably the first person to bring a smile to her soft face in ages. The smile could light up an entire room. To him it was the most beautiful smile ever seen.

"None" he retorted back. "I don't really go out on the field much now."

"So what are you going in for today?"

"A body was found yesterday. Looks like a serial so my keen profiling skills are required."

"I'm sure they are" she half heartily laughed.

"Really they are. I have a piece of paper that says they are most certainly needed. Are you just going to hang around here all day?"

"I'm going to go apartment hunting." Castle looked saddened by her remark. He just didn't think he would lose her so soon. But he quickly recovered. He knew that this situation was not ideal and she probably just wanted to start rebuilding her life. "Thought I appreciate your generosity, I can't stay here. You and Caitlyn need your space."

"Just know you are welcome any time" smiled Castle as he walked out the door. He didn't want Kate to see the hurt he was feeling. That she would just run away so quickly. He sort of wished that he could convince her to take up her badge again and put the old team back together. But that was a long shot. For now all he could do is inform Kevin and Javier that their friend was alright.

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**Thoughts? :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: For starters I don't have access to a proper/regular computer at the moment which is why I haven't updated in ages. I know this chapter is probably riddled with mistakes but I have read it though so many times I think my brain has decided to stop working. I cant promise regular updates because I am starting my final year of school this year. But I will try and finish what I started so enjoy. Secondly this chapter is for all those out there who love Esplanie! But just know that next chapter will be full of Casketty goodness :) Oh and how good was Significant Others! :D**

* * *

**Fix You – Chapter Five**

* * *

Kate needed to start mending some bridge. It had nearly been twelve months and during that time she never called any of her friends. There was only that one time when she spoke to Castle. They probably hate her by now. Or don't care anymore because she was selfish in perusing her mother's killer. Who knows, maybe they thought she was dead and had just forgot she existed.

She thought she would start off easy. Lanie. Her former, but hopefully still best friend. She had to understand what she had been through over the last couple of months. Maybe she could just be the shoulder that she so desperately wanted to cry on.

Kate nervously walked up the several flights of stairs to reach the apartment. She rasped her knuckles against the door. No answer. _Maybe she had moved._

She was about to knock on the door again when it swung open revealing the bubbly ME, smiling gleefully.

"Kate" gasped the medical examiner as she embraced to former detective in a tight embrace. To say she was surprised was an understatement. Lanie altogether thought she had died.

"It's good to see you too, Lanie" spoke Kate as she attempted to loosen the embrace slightly. But she came to appreciate it. She needed this now more than ever.

Several moments later Lanie shut the door and signalled for Beckett to take a seat on the sofa.

"Do you want anything to drink? Coffee perhaps?" questioned Lanie as she fiddled in the kitchen. Kate nodded in response as she sunk into the chair. Caffeine was certainly what she needed right now.

Lanie returned later with two cups in hand, one filled with coffee and the other with tea. She passed Kate the cup that was made for her whist she took her own and slumped into her chair. She came back seconds later with a small plate of biscuits.

They respectively took a sip from their cups and sat in silence before Kate decided to speak up.

"I take it you heard what happened?" finally spoke Kate as her eyes trailed to the ground.

Lanie placed her cup on the table in front of her before moving closer to Kate.

"Yeah." Lanie comfortingly placed her arm of Kate's shoulder edging her to continue.

Kate was silently for several moments until Lanie decided to speak up noticing her friend's discomfort.

"What happened Kate?" Maybe it was best she spoke her mind. After all she had been holding it in for nearly 6 months now. Castle called Lanie soon after he spoke to Kate, filling the medical examiner on the details to why her friend was missing for so many months.

Kate shook her head. She wasn't ready for this. Just mentioning his name causes tears to stream freely down her face.

Lanie could understand not wanting to talk about her father's death but she had to say something. Anything to give her some sort of answer as to why she just left. "Well then why are you here now?"

Lanie didn't mean for her voice to seem so angry but it just came out. But she had a right to be angry. Her best friend practically disappears for 12 months and not a single phone call. But this wasn't about Lanie. This was about Kate. A girl who is probably still mourning her father's death. She came so close to finding justice when it just slipped through her fingers once again. Lanie knew that Kate was staying with Castle. He had texted her the night before. He also described, in brief detail, the way he found her in the motel. Lanie knew for sure that Kate probably has lost part of herself as well.

Kate hesitated before answering. "Castle found me a few days ago and insisted that I come back to the city. Which lead me to now?"

Lanie slowly nodded her head understanding what Kate was explaining even though she already knows.

"Look Lanie. I don't want to become a burden and all but, can I stay here for a couple of days. I don't have an apartment just yet and I'm at the loft at the moment. To say the situation is awkward is a massive understatement."

"Caitlyn."

Beckett nodded in response. Her eyes wouldn't meet Lanie's but she could tell that she practically hated the woman for being with the man that she should be with. Lanie wished that the two of them would have gotten their act together much sooner and not waited until it was too late. While Lanie didn't hate Caitlyn she wished that it was Kate going home to the loft each day with the millionaire mystery novelist instead of Caitlyn.

"Kate, I'm sorry girl. As much as I would love you to stay I sort of have a full house at the moment."

As if on cue the Hispanic cop entered from the bedroom placing his shirt over his shoulders.

"Yo Beckett" exclaimed a surprised Esposito as he walked over to hug the girl he felt like was his own sister.

"Javier" smiled Beckett as she embraced her long-time friend in a hug. "So good to see you both finally pulled your act together."

Both of them chuckled. They exchanged a quick glance. She deserved to know.

"Well were actually married now. For six months." Lanie extended her left hand forward showing Kate the _gigantic_ rock on her finger.

"Wow" gasped Kate as her hands were brought to her mouth. "I'm so happy for you. Both of you."

"There is also something else we should tell you." Lanie turned to Javier who nodded in response.

"Girl, I'm pregnant" said Lanie as she instinctively placed a hand on the slight curve of her stomach. Kate embraced Lanie in another hug.

"Dear God, you too" exclaimed Kate. "I'm away for a couple of months and you married and decided to have kids."

They all laugh and exchange chit chat for a couple of more minutes before Kate decided to leave. She didn't want to let her sadness get in the way of the happy couples day.

* * *

Kate went against taking a cab and decided to roam the busy streets of New York instead.

She felt a few droplets of water fall from the sky but figured that sitting in the rain allowed her to think so she went to the one placed she always went.

She took her place on the swing and slowly rocked back and forth feeling her clothes become drenched in the pouring rain.

And she did what she did best. She thought about her life and what she wanted.

She did the same thing not too long ago when she was deciding what was more important to her. Castle or her mother's murder. She regrets the decision she made more than anything else in her life.

She deserves happiness. She deserved to find her one and done and start a family and live the life she has always wanted.

She deserves not to be defined based on her past but as the woman she wants to become.

She knows what she wants.

But not now. Not tomorrow. But someday. The day when justice is served.

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**Sorry it was short and a really late update, but thoughts?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: A big thank you to all those who have favourite/followed/reviewed this story. I am truly overwhelmed by the response this story has gotten. I know this chapter is a bit short but I did update quickly. Does that count for something? Now just a quick questioned to all. Would you guys like this to be wrapped up in a few more chapters or would you like it to be longer? Please let me know.**

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**Fix You – Chapter Six**

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Beckett thought Castle wouldn't be home. He had his own life now, one that didn't include her. The last thing he probably wanted to do was sit at home on a Friday night. But no, there sitting in only his boxers was Castle reading a book. He must have been really engrossed in the story because he didn't even flinch when she walked into the room.

Kate walked past him leaving a small trail of droplets in her wake. The floorboards creaked under her movement. Yet nothing. Not even a wink from the man that was sitting only 3 feet away from her. Kate continued to try and go unnoticed when the silence was broken once Kate sneezed.

"Kate." Castle frantically sat up from the couch lightly throwing the book back onto the coffee table. He grabbed the blanket that rested on the edge and rushed over to Kate. He wrapped it around Kate's shoulders.

"Thanks" mumbled Kate as her eyes adverted his.

"What happened?"

"I got caught in the rain. Couldn't catch a cab so I just walked" shivered Kate. "I'm going to go upstairs" announced Kate as she shrugged off Castle's hand and walked up the staircase.

Before Castle could respond, she was already half way up the staircase. While he accepted her story he knew that wasn't the full truth. But pushing her was not going to get him anywhere. She needed time and he was willing to wait.

But if Castle could do anything right now, it would be to make her smile and forget about the void in her heart.

* * *

Kate descended the stairs a short while late completely dry and wrapped in some of Castle's oversized clothing. Her intention was to make a cup of coffee before heading up to bed. But then again nothing in her life went according to plan.

"Do you want to join me?" Castle was already tucked into a snuggie with a giant bowl of Carmel popcorn resting on his stomach. He was just about to push play of the DVD.

"What are you watching?" _No Kate. What are you doing? He has a serious girlfriend. You should be going upstairs to sleep. Not down here making a move on someone else's boyfriend. Shut up brain, this might be your only chance._

"I'm having a Nebula 9 Marathon," smiled Castle as he gestured to the screen that was lit up with the DVD menu.

"I love Nebula 9,"Kate almost squealed. She found herself sitting on the opposite side of the couch from Castle as she tried to calm herself down.

"Really? I didn't picture you being a fan of science fiction. Especially a show like Nebula 9."

"Me, what about you? I never pictured you liking…" Kate was about to finish her sentence when Lieutenant Chloe appeared on screen in her tight outfit. "It makes sense now."

Truth was, when Castle was cleaning out Beckett's apartment he found the worn out and scratched Nebula 9 DVD's. So first of all he replaced her set and brought one for himself to see what she loved about it. After about 20 minutes into the first episode he had fallen in love.

"So Beckett, how many times have you watched these?" Beckett's eyes and ears were focused to the TV. She was mouthing all the dialogue and not paying much attention. "I'll take that as a lot."

"What?"

"You are a total fan-girl Kate. I'll bet you know every line." Castle couldn't hide his glee if he tried.

"I was a total geek back then."

"Exactly how geeky were you?"

Kate hesitated for a slight moment, not sure if she was ready for Castle to find out about this part of her past. "I would dress up like Lieutenant Chloe and act out scenes from the show with the other Nebula 9 fans at Stanford."

Castle's mouth nearly dropped to the ground. "I never pictured you as a Sci-Fi loving nerd," teased Castle as he playfully nudged her in the arm.

"Well I had to give up that life after I moved back to New York once my Mother died. I said goodbye to that lifestyle."

Castle couldn't believe the way Kate just talked about her mother's death. It was if she had accepted it. There wasn't a quiver in her voice and there certainly wasn't a single tear shed. Maybe she is finally ready to put the past behind her.

The playful banter about Kate wearing tight spandex went on for a good half an hour, the TV being long forgotten. Silence dawned upon them as Castle ran out of quirky remarks.

Neither one had realised that they were now sitting side by side with Kate's head inches away from resting on Castle's chest. Their focus was brought back to the television as the opening theme rang through the apartment once again. Instinctively, Kate began to sing the tune. As the opening scene began to play out Kate's head found its way into the crevice of his neck. They both smiled like teenagers, trying to hide their giddiness from each other. They were so lost in how right the moment felt that they didn't hear the lock turn and door come flying open.

"Rick."

"Caitlyn?"

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**Thoughts? I really appreciate all feedback :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Fix You – Chapter Seven**

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_This was most certainly awkward._

Kate quickly tossed the blanket on the floor before getting off Castle. She exchanged a brief sympathetic glance aimed at Castle while avoiding all eye contact with Caitlyn.

"I'm going to give you too some space" meekly spoke Kate as she quickly dashed up the staircase and into her room. She went to shut the door but something told her to leave it ajar. She collapsed on the bed listening to the conversation and argument that will surely ensue.

Back downstairs, the door slammed shut. Caitlyn stood just inside with her arms were folded over her chest and her posture standing tall. She certainly did not look the slightest bit happy.

Castle was scared to turn around. He knew hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. He already knew where this was heading. He slid of the couch, before slightly turning his neck to see Caitlyn.

"What the hell Rick?!" yelled Caitlyn as she furiously threw her coat and bag onto the adjacent couch. "I leave you alone with her for half a day and she has already made her move on you. I knew it was a mistake to that _that_ slut into _our _home."

He wasn't going to respond at first but seeing her disrespect his friends like that cause anger to bubble up inside.

"Caitlyn!" he practically yelled. "First of all you have no idea the bravery and courage of Katherine Beckett. She is probably the most, no she is, strongest woman I have ever met. And sec-"

"Oh what, nothing happened" interrupted Caitlyn as she strode across the room.

"I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say I can explain."

"Amuse me."

"We were just watching the TV" stated Castle as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, so it that how two people, one of which is in a serious committed relationship and the other just a poor broken orphan watch TV?"

"It just kind of happened?"

"It just happened?" queried Caitlyn. She was certainly not impressed right now.

"I don't know what happened or how it happened but I certainly wasn't going to sleep with her if that's what you're wondering."

"If I hadn't walked in I'm pretty sure you would have" mumbled Caitlyn. Caitlyn was standing there a determined woman. She was certainly not letting her guard down. And she certainly wasn't leaving until that _woman_ was gone.

"Look, Kate's just a friend that has been though a lot lately. She has always been there for me and it's my turn to repay the favour. I'm just trying to comfort her during this difficult time."

"Is that what the kids are calling it now these days?"

"Nothing happened" retaliated Rick.

"Oh so it was nothing. You girl you followed around for 4 years, wrote several books, books you are still writing to this date is lying onto of your chest on the couch and it was nothing. Oh I'm sorry" sarcastically spoke Caitlyn as she began pacing the room.

Rick was getting frustrated. Yes it did look bad that he and Kate were cuddling on the couch, but his girlfriend didn't have to feel threatened. All he wanted to do was make her feel safe again. As if she had a place she belonged. Yes, it probably wasn't the most idealistic way but for at least one night it made Kate smile again. And she couldn't be held accountable for trying to make someone forgot the pain that filled their chest.

"Tell me that you don't love Kate" demanded Caitlyn. Rick was a bit taken aback. Caitlyn asked the question out of nowhere. "Tell me" she practically screamed.

There was a moment of silence. Castle sighed as he ran his fingers though his hair. "I can't." It was barley a whisper but it was enough for Caitlyn to understand, and surprisingly Kate too who was sitting with her back against the wall of the guest room. "Truth is I do love her. I always have and always will."

"Do you really think she love you? She probably just obsessed fan who just wants to sleep with you for your money."

"Not that's you Caitlyn." Castle had had enough. It's one thing to bad mouth him but to go and attack a woman she had known for all but 5 minutes is definitely another. Especially when that woman is Katherine Beckett. "Ever since you came into my life all you have done is make me buy you expensive gifts and take you to fancy dinners. And I just looked over that because I couldn't face being alone. But now, I feel that there is just isn't anything between us anymore. We're done."

And that was the last words spoken between the two. Caitlyn grabbed her bag and walked out trying to hold back the tears. However, the tears were mainly just a show. She knew perfectly well that Kate had been listening to the entire conversation and couldn't resist making her feel guilty about what happened between her and Castle.

Though she couldn't say she wasn't surprised. The way Rick would talk about Kate she had known that it they were more than just partners. She had also been one to believe that she was dead and that Richard now loved her. She was mistaken.

Castle collapsed on the couch once he heard the door slam shut. He buried his face into his hands. _Yet another failed relationship_ he thought.

His eyes adverted to the staircase as he heard the sound of footsteps. It was of course Kate, looking as solemnly as possible. But before Kate could speak, Castle interjected.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough." Kate smiled as she stepped forward closing the space between them.

Castle was hesitant and Beckett could see that. But four simple words that washed away any doubt. "I just want you."

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**Finally! Thoughts?**


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